I’m very good at fighting.

I’m here in Thailand and everyday I wake up 10 metres from a boxing ring. The camp is packed out with about 30 or 40 people, all training. Most of these people probably dropped 5k on flights and fees to train here, but I’m here for free, because I’m very good at fighting. Since my stay here I haven’t trained once, only partied.

But during the day while others trained I would sit with my legs up and watch, with a beer, getting drunk for the beach that evening.

There was one guy about my size who would never miss a days training. Someone said he had about 18/19 fights and all in all was quite good. Strong kicks, heavy hands. There was nothing wrong with any of his technique.  Fit also, he would smash through 20 rounds every time I watched.


Either he recognised me from fighting or he didn’t like me because he always had this look in his eye like he could do me something. Probably cause I would always smile at this girl he was staying with, she wasn’t even hot, but Im a nice guy.

But Im here completely on my own and wanted a mate so one night about 8pm, I was drunk of course, I said to him “fuck training let’s party” to which he replied “I don’t fly this far just to get drunk.” like he was a better person than I am. Like I’m an idiot for wanting alcohol and fun. I laughed out loud. “Ok Robocop” and off I went out to drink Vodka.

The next day I woke up about 5pm hanging. Badly. I had only left my room to get a bottle of water and there he was in his second training of the day, while I stunk of beer. I looked (and felt) like shit and when I looked at him in the ring he gave me a look of “idiot drank too much, why’s he just getting up.” The kinda look you give a girl doing the walk of shame.

This pissed me off. So I got my bottle of water and went and stood on the ring as he was hitting pads. I just watched for three rounds before everyone started sparring. He was stopping everyone, because I was watching. Hard hard lowkicks. And after he bullied everyone and no one would fight him anymore I asked if he needed a partner, he agreed, and I put my gloves on.

3 rounds later hes sitting in the corner of the ring, looking down at the canvas with a black eye as his nose is pissing blood. I could see the confusion in his eyes. “I train twice a day, every time I’ve seen this guy hes been staggering around drunk. He hasnt trained once. How did he beat me? How?” He genuinely looked like he just found out Santa wasnt real. He was heartbroken.

The answer is that I’m a natural talent. A violence professional. And it doesnt matter if you train twice a day plus a 3 mile run while I do nothing but get smashed I will kick the fu*k out of you. He went to sort his eye out, clean up his blood and get an early nights sleep for 8 am training. I went to the beach party and got drunk.

I still smile at his girl.

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