Special measures for the UK’s biggest gang

London’s biggest, cock sure, posturing, chest always high, non-apologetic gang, the Metropolitan Police Service has been placed into special measures by HM Inspectorate of Constabulary and Fire and Rescue Services (HMICFRS).

We have all seen the daily influx of scandals coming from the Met of late. So, whilst this news is being responded to with “its been a long time coming” and “about time” in the mix you will hear that hard delivered “GOOD!” resounding.

Sir Stephen’s House is burning down and he knows that it’s beyond his remit and ahem previous experience to put this inferno out. The snowy white peaks of policing leadership have played the fiddle in Nero-esque ignorance and apathy whilst London’s communities burned for far too long and now the chickens have come home to roost holding fucking lit matches. How embarrassing! 

They have actually deemed to be unfit to continue without intervention and inspection, get to the back of the class. I’m actually shaking and shook so Lord knows how they are feeling right now.

Pride cometh before a fall and we have been waiting for this face-plant, ‘patiently’ would be too small a word. Time has passed and we have seen our children assaulted on a daily basis, for wearing jackets or school uniforms, walking alone, with friends or even buying lunch. 

Our women, killed by men, because they weren’t white, were white, walking home, celebrating a birthday in a park and dancing under fairy lights, domestic abuse survivors being ignored by the police or when seen by a police officer handcuffed, raped and murdered.

Denial after barefaced denial of racism in policing has reached saturation point because the evidence shown has been quantified to the contrary and is overwhelming and even to the biggest and loudest naysayers are running out of excuses. 

UK policing is “by consent” and London is withdrawing its consent. Wi dun talk!

The candidates for Met Commissioner must be pushing each other towards this flaming shit show whilst Cressida breathes a sigh of relief in stroking her substantial pay-out and Damehood. Race advocates and non-white Chief Constable and Commissioner prospective candidates are feeling like they dodged a bullet.

To the remaining constabularies a few words of advice. What is for you will not pass you by, believe that. It’s going to be a domino effect that will filter down to the other 41 constabularies, and you aren’t out of the scope of the Inspectorate, so you best clean up your room before big brother gets home. 

Can you actually believe that a sickening 97% of racism complaints against the police result in no action at all leaving only 3% of London’s racialised communities feeling “seen and heard”?

A near perfect score of “we don’t see colour; we treat everyone the same” The disciplinary action is hardly any action at all unless you are Black or Brown of course.

I’m laughing whilst I type this because collectively we have no tears left and it has been a long and very bad joke. 

But now it’s the reckoning and judgement day of the Met and as I type, Greater Manchester Police has been given the special measure of shame too…the UK’s largest police constabularies are under the weight of their own cosh.

Critics of the police and policing are equal opportunity bastards and its only right this means that all iterations of policing representing all marginalised communities (PFEW take a seat and wait to be called because you have been protecting 97% of the bad apples in policing right up to this point) are set to be grilled.

They might be chorusing that this news is right and just and well overdue but this means that if there is a symbolic clean slate what comes next for policing in the Met and GMP but be the most anti-racist, anti-sexist, anti-misogynist, anti-misogynoirist (shout out to Andy George who has been so silent on his public vilification of a Black African female officer that he might earn a special warning himself, oh Yes Andy…we haven’t forgotten!) anti-ageist, anti-disablist, anti-transphobic, anti-homophobic police service we have ever seen in recent history.

Cressida Dick get dash weh! Tola Munro get dash weh! And Andy George, you can get dash weh too! The apple cart is riddled with all manner of nastiness and now it’s time to take a closer look at the basket.

Look closer for Bibba, Nicole, Sarah, Oladeji, Noah, Cynthia, Joy, Ian, Stephen, Anthony, Gabriel, Kovari, Daniel, Jack, Shukri, Valerie, Jah-Zara Denise, Child Q, Olivia, Zara and the countless others who deserve justice and have had to die, lied against, victim-blamed, injured and traumatised for others to have a chance to receive anything that remotely resembles it.

Policing-o! The old sweat adage can now be applied “Wait…they’ll come around” and they certainly have.


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